The first one was from April 04. The second is November 07. And in both... I weigh around 135-140 lbs. UGH that I'm back up to the same weight again!!! But... I'm happy to see that even at the same weight, my shape is still less flabby and better today. I can say that I do carry weight better now than I used to. And I'm more like a size 8 now, too. My size 6's are too tight. So I know I have gained weight/inches back since last year. But thankfully I haven't gained ALL the flab back.
But I need work. I need to get back to THIS level of fitness:
That was when I felt at my best. 120 lbs sure looked better on me than 140!! You can surely see how 20 lbs changes the shape of my face. I felt thin and fit back then, not flabby and big. That was when I had finished 2 rounds of P90 (not P90X) and it was easy. I need to just do that again. Because I know it DOES WORK. I just haven't been able to find that motivation like I did back then, to just get up and DO the workouts.
I keep finding other things I would rather do- like a craft project of some kind. Of course, the current craft project sort of has a holiday time limit coming at me, so I'm trying to work on it as much as I can... but still... I could probably spare 1/2 hr to do a workout. But I just don't.
Bleah on myself and my lack of motivation!!! My brain knows what I need to be doing. That's obvious. My brain also knows that it will all just come back to me (or slide off of me) if I'd just start moving again. But my body just isn't listening. Not sure if it's my heart or what... but my body craves the comfort foods and just wants to sit and work on the crafts. It's like my mind wants that "rest" that I get with crafting. It's relaxing. But working isn't relaxing. Well, it IS- afterwards... but DURING, it's not relaxing really. So I just sit instead. And obviously I would gain weight.
Ever since Mom passed away, and the summer started. A whopping 15 lbs. I know that summertime is a bad time for me to maintain a regular workout schedule anyway... with the road trips and things. But once the summer ended and the road trips ended as well... I just haven't gotten back to the workout routine. I don't think I can blame Mom's death on this, but then again... I've never lost a parent before, so I don't know. Maybe in some way it is a cause... but I really don't know. It's like I'm just not in the mood to move and work up a sweat.
I need to dig deep for this one. That I do know. It's on my mind every single day. It nags at me and I feel guilty for not working out. But yet I keep on skipping the intense work. I just go out for a walk with the dog, and that's about it. Nothing intense about that- because as much as I think I might jog part of it... I just walk the entire time. Which is better than nothing, I know... but it's still not enough to negate the comfort-food eating that I've been doing. Calories in have been outpassing the calories out, that's for sure. :-P
Doesn't take a genius to figure out what's wrong with THAT picture.
2 comments:
Oh boy do I hear ya! I stalled at about 22 lbs. lost. I regained about 5-8 and keep hovering around those same damn 3#! I want to lose another 20...at least but the motivation just isn't there!!! And the time... I joined the Y but can't leave E there (as you've heard me lament about over and over!) and I can't see to bring myself to working out at home right now because the Y seems more appealing for some reason! I did do one of my videos the other night but skipped the last 10 minutes and was very sore the next day. I have let myself slide! Ugh...
I think with the holidays approaching the best I can expect is to keep up with the morning walks, work in a few evenings at the Y, as permitted, and try not to eat everything in sight! I know that I become more motivated in January (for whatever reason!) and maybe 2008 will be the year I will reach the goal I set back in January of this year!
Are we going to get back on track together once the crazies of the holidays are past? I don't think this is the time to set any huge goals since maintaining over the next 6 weeks is going to be hard enough! LOL
Are you game for getting serious with me in January?! Please say yes! :-)
You know I wanna!!!! But I'm just not feeling like the leader of anything right now! I do want to though. And I know I CAN do it... if I would just get TO IT. Ugh on this whole deal with the no motivation to sweat!
:-P
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