My Fitness Journey- The Struggles & the Workouts

Okay, so the beginnings almost sounded like its own infomercial, didn't it? Well, it WORKED almost as magically as an infomercial!! But really, there were many struggles along the way. While doing Power90, I still struggled with the "don't wannas". You know that feeling... when you KNOW you need to work out, but you just don't wanna. You don't want to work. You don't want to sweat. You're tired of bothering... but those are the times when you have to remind yourself that those are the same thoughts that GOT you unhealthy to start with!! I had become overweight and unfit because I "didn't wanna"...

So I would make myself just get it done. Just suffer through it. Which doesn't sound like fun- but yet once I got going, it wasn't so bad. And once I was finished, I felt GREAT! Still sweaty, sure- but I felt great that I got it done for yet another day, and it was yet another step AWAY from being overweight and unfit. All the energy spent complaining about being unfit or fat... could be spent just getting that workout started. And before you know it, the workout is done and guess what? That energy is better and it's no longer negative energy.

Anyway- after Power90, I tried something "more fun" like Turbo Jam. And while I felt like a flounder out of water, trying to find my dancing coordination and learning the moves- it was quite fun! Once I got past the learning curve, I felt like I was part of the Turbo Jam dance troupe and was moving right along with them! Awesome!! It was a great break from the straightforward-ness of P90- and the difference between the 2 workout program styles was good for breaking up any boredome bleahs. I also added Power Half Hour, P90 Masters- and they are all good.

Then I moved on to P90X. I felt fit, I felt tough, I felt ready. But then I was also scared! LOL And yes, it's hard. It's humbling... but as you work through each day, you also get more fit and gain more confidence. While Turbo Jam worked on increasing cardio health and coordination, P90X helped me with increasing muscle strength. Some of it helped with cardio, some helped with balance & flexibility (love the YogaX!) but mostly it helped with strength. And yes, I still had bouts of the "don't wannas" along the way. And for the first several times I've tried P90X, I would either make it 6 weeks or two months... and quit. Many reasons (excuses?) why. But yes, it's hard to commit to an hour-long workout each day when you have 2 young kids as a divorced single mom.

Through 2006, I did no particular Beachbody program, though I did try to maintain my weight loss. Saw inklings of how well P90X COULD work for me- but just couldn't make it all the way through the full 90 days like I did with P90.

Then comes 2007- and I tried P90X again- and started seeing some great results, as the workouts were a good distraction from what we were dealing with in life during that time. And I was determined to make it through the entire 90 days, finally, THIS TIME... but then Mom got really really sick with her cancer battle and she passed away. The workouts had helped me keep my sanity through some of that sick and helpless time, but after it was all over, I lost track. I really had the "don't wannas" to pair up with the "don't care". I stopped working out. Not even skipping a few days... but skipped several MONTHS of workouts. And yes- all the success and consistent maintaining I had for awhile- it all went away and I gained weight back. Later I also learned that I could maintain a 135 lb weight without too much trouble- so thankfully my eating has improved through the years (nutrition struggles coming in a different note, later).

When I saw myself creeping back up to the 140 mark again... and looking like it was just going to plow on past- even heavier than when I was before... I got scared. What happened?!! I know there's grief, but what am I doing to myself?!?? So then 2008 was spent trying to get back on track. I had to stop the Fat Train and turn it around. And get back on the Fit Train. But I was still mentally distracted. I couldn't focus on any one workout program to do ANYTHING for a full 90 days or "by the book"... but at least by that point, I had a great arsenal of DVD workouts that I could use. Okay, just mix it up... with SOME sort of organization, to avoid doing resistance on consecutive days- but just mix it up. Do whatever suits my mood that day. And still keep on battling the "don't wannas"... because I still haven't figured out how to extinguish that nagging voice of laziness.

Then ChaLEAN Extreme came out... I heard great things about it. I ordered it and tried it once 2009 started. And wow- what a huge increase in strength I gained with that one! And with each phase that went by, I was "wowing" myself about just how STRONG I was!!! Even more than I did with P90X. I think I approached P90X each time with too much intimidation, or something. Or maybe the workouts were too long to suit me... not sure. But ChaLEAN Extreme had shorter workouts. It fit into my busy mom's scheduling- and it was VERY effective for building muscle and strength. My core is stronger and tighter. Tighter than ever. My waistline is smaller without having to do a million crunches. And truth be told- I didn't always do the ab routines when the ChaLEAN schedule asked for it... but yet my waistline still shrunk. Not that I'm recommending skipping important parts of the workout program- but just saying that it's a matter of OVERALL fitness, too. You can't "spot train" anything into thinness. It's about working out overall- and it WILL happen, even in your trouble spots. Even the places you aren't targeting, will shrink if you're working out well overall.

So now I'm down to 130lbs, and no, I'm not as thin as I was before at 120 back in 2005- but I feel much stronger. I have more shape to my arms (yes!!!) and my legs are stronger. I can lug around 40-lb bags of dog food or gardening soil and it's like nothing now. No more asking for help at the store! lol But in my own way- I think that Rocks. Just like it used to Rock when people doubted I could do my paramedic job, but I did. I might be short, but I can be strong for my size! Rar!!!! lol

I can now do tricep pushups (sometimes called military pushups, with elbows kept close to the body) from my toes- when before I had to do them on my knees. Those were HARD when I started! I can also now do pullups, of various hand grips... except the wide grip. I still need work on that- but it'll happen. I couldn't do a single pullup until I did P90X. And now with ChaLEAN, I can even do pullups better than I did with P90X- without even a single pullup as part of the workout program! I will tell ya, ChaLEAN Extreme is an awesome program and it worked for me REALLY well. There really is something about lifting as heavy as you can... and then lifting SLOOOOOW when you do it. It's incredible.

So while I'm still not back down to that "infamous" 120 that I had before- I'm now more focused on fitness and not that number. Now that I'm happy with my overall size, I am turning my goals more towards what I can DO, not how I look or what size I am. It's not about "being thin"... it's about being fit- and the right size for you will just naturally fall into place. And the funny thing? I can do more pullups, pushups and lift heavier now at 130 than I ever could at 120. So which one is actually more FIT?